Last week I gave a talk to a MOPS group on the Five Love Languages. We looked at the different dialects of love that each of us speak and understand and how that plays out in relationships. We all agreed that it’s not easy to learn a new language like Acts of Service when you’ve been speaking Words of Affirmation all your life. It doesn’t feel natural. It doesn’t feel normal. And many times it doesn’t feel necessary when we think that our loved ones should give and receive us just like us, right?
Well, wrong. Each of us have our own love language or combination of love languages that must be spoken in order to fill our love tank and when we’re not spoken to in our native tongue we can feel unloved, unappreciated, and unseen. Some of us live like that for a long time–noticing and practicing the love languages of others but not getting filled up in return.
So who is speaking your love language?
- Well first of all do you know what your love language is?
Read this post from last year to learn more http://daleskram.com/category/love-languages/
- Who have you told about your love language?
If no one knows what your language is, it’s not likely anyone will be able to speak it. Tell your spouse, your children, your friends, and your extended family what makes you feel loved. Give them specific examples. They are not mind readers and are not supposed to know you better than you know yourself.
- Have you noticed how God has been speaking your language all along?
Be on the lookout for all the many ways that God has been speaking your love language. He didn’t create you with a love tank that could not be filled. And He didn’t place you at the mercy of others (especially when they are feeling dry) as your only source of love.
For you Acts of Service girls, think back to all the ways He’s helped you or done things for you.
For you Words of Affirmation ladies, read in His word when He speaks personally to you like “I have loved you (put your name in here) with an everlasting love.” Jeremiah 31:3
For you Gifts girls, remember that every good and perfect gifts comes ultimately from your loving Father. What are some of the wonderful things that He has given you?
For you Physical Touch gals, be aware of all the times He has touched you through the hands of others.
For you Quality Time chicks, keep in mind all of the intimate conversations and experiences you’ve had with Him when He’s given you His undivided attention.
I hope each one of you had a wonderful Valentine’s Day. This year was one of my best. But I’ve had other years that weren’t so special. If you made it through the holiday but your love tank still needs to be filled, look to your heavenly Father who promises to meet all your needs according the riches of His glory in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:19) for your generous supply of love.
If you would like help discerning your love language or those of your loved ones, feel free to contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org.