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Category: Parenting

Whatcha Doing on Friday?

Posted on 06/14/17 by Dale Wilsher No Comments
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Hi everyone!

If you are free this Friday, June 16, join me on Channelmom radio as we talk about understanding the personality types of our children.

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This will be great information for you if you

  • sometimes wonder what makes your child tick
  • struggle to understand your child
  • get triggered by their behaviors
  • are curious to know why they are so different from you
  • desperately need to find a way to communicate and connect with your child

After an overview of all types, we will focus this episode on our little extroverts.

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Listen in this Friday from 1:00-1:30pm on the radio (94.7 FM), online (94.7 The Word Online) or watch us on FB Live and type your personality questions into the comment bar.  ChannelMom’s page on Facebook is:  https://www.facebook.com/ChannelMom/

 

As an extra bonus…

There will be 2 free Tip Sheets on my website for you to download, one for parents of introverts and one for parents of extroverts.

Don’t miss out!

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Three New Parenting Talks for 2017

Posted on 04/12/17 by Dale Wilsher No Comments

Hey MOPS and MOPSNext Moms!

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I’ve got three new parenting talks for your groups.

 

  1.  Three Life Coaching Tools for Moms:

Do you feel overwhelmed by the seemingly endless needs of your family?  Are you tired and depleted wondering how you are going to get it all done?  Do you ever feel resentful, like you are doing all the work, and you have no choice but to make it happen? Or do you feel insecure sometimes thinking that you are not good enough or something is wrong with you?  Not to worry–help is on the way–Dale will teach you about three specific life coaching tools to help each mom find balance, make wise decisions, and live confidently.

  1.  How to Raise Authentic, Responsible, and Capable Kids

From her experience as a mother to four girls and as a professional life coach, Dale will teach you the necessary elements you need to know to raise children who are authentic rather than fake, responsible rather than immature, and capable believing deep down that all things really are possible.

 3.  Overcoming Impatience as a Mom

We all lose patience with our children, but how do you stop reacting in anger and start responding in truth?  Dale explains how to deal with our emotional brains that trigger us to react defensively and usually keep us stuck in impatience.  She shows us how to engage our thinking brains to look at the reasons behind our impatience and to guide us to rational, loving parenting solutions.

 

I’d love to speak to your group!

If you’d like to book one of these new parenting talks or any of my classic messages for moms (http://dalewilsher.com/dale/speaking/) contact me here (http://dalewilsher.com/dale/contact/) for rates and availability.

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3 Three Tips for Families Who DO Chores

Posted on 10/26/16 by Dale Wilsher No Comments
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unknown-2Last month I wrote about the “whys” behind implementing chores for your children, in the hope that I might motivate, encourage or simply remind you of the benefits of family responsibility, especially when it all seems like an uphill battle. On the days when no one wants to do their chores, when I seem to be working harder to train them to do their chores than they are at doing them, when I can’t come up with good chores for them to do–that is when I need to be reminded as to why I’m doing this. I thought that might help you too.

There are three more tips I want to offer that will help you persevere and be blessed by family chores:

Check out the tips at http://www.1corinthians13parenting.com/3-three-tips-for-families-who-do-chores/#comment-152111

 

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4 Reasons Why Your Child Needs to do Chores

Posted on 09/28/16 by Dale Wilsher No Comments
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1-2-120-25-explorepahistory-a0a5x9-a_349-1Someone once asked me if my children did chores. I answered with an enthusiastic Yes! followed by a list of their household responsibilities. As I shared, my inquirer’s eyes grew wider and seemingly more troubled, “Sheesh, you guys are like farmers, milking the cows and feeding the chickens.” I know. And we don’t even have a farm. I took it as a compliment.

Keep reading here:  http://www.1corinthians13parenting.com/4-reasons-child-needs-chores/

Weirdness Part 2

Posted on 07/21/16 by DaleWilsher No Comments
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Unknown-2I just received a comment that the “continue reading” link didn’t work for the last blog, “When Your Kid is Weird.”  To clear that up, I have included the entire blog here.  Hope it brings you hope and joy in the challenges of your life.

When Your Kid is Weird

Well, not really weird, even though that is how you both may feel sometimes. Maybe more like different or uniquely challenged. I have a daughter with ADHD who is always louder and more hyper—different—than other children. I also have a daughter with an anxiety disorder who has struggled greatly as the consequences of her actions have landed her in the legal arena. You haven’t lived until your child has their own probation officer. Still, it’s a different experience. I spoke to a friend today whose son was recently diagnosed with autism. They’ve had to make tough decisions to hold him back a grade, change his school, and adjust the sports he can participate in. All things that make him different than the other kids which in turn can make them feel different from the other families.

 

When your child is different other kids don’t always want to be friends with them. When your child is different other parents don’t really know what to say to you.

When your child is different you sometimes wonder if you (and your child) drew the short straw because life just seems harder.

 

I get it.

 

But this is what I know to be true: if your child is offbeat, atypical or even a little weird they are one of the lucky ones.

 

They will experience weakness and need God’s strength.

They will experience loneliness and need God’s presence.

They will experience limitations and need God’s possibilities.

They will experience pain and need God’s comfort.

 

They will experience a need for God that most children won’t ever know. And need gives us the opportunity for deeper knowledge and intimacy with God. Need, found in the weirdness of our lives, is the absolute best thing that could ever happen to us.

 

Great blessings belong to those who know they are spiritually in need. God’s kingdom belongs to them. Matthew 5:3

When Your Kid is Weird

Posted on 07/19/16 by DaleWilsher 1 Comment
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Unknown-2Well, not really weird, even though that is how you both may feel sometimes. Maybe more like different or uniquely challenged. I have a daughter with ADHD who is always louder and more hyper—different—than other children. I also have a daughter with an anxiety disorder who has struggled greatly as the consequences of her actions have landed her in the legal arena. You haven’t lived until your child has their own probation officer. Still, it’s a different experience. I spoke to a friend today whose son was recently diagnosed with autism. They’ve had to make tough decisions to hold him back a grade, change his school, and adjust the sports he can participate in. All things that make him different than the other kids which in turn can make them feel different from the other families.

Continue reading at http://www.1corinthians13parenting.com/kid-weird/


I promise it gets better.  Much better.  There is great blessing in weirdness.

The Answer to Kid Clutter

Posted on 03/02/16 by DaleWilsher No Comments
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Who left their backpack in the hallway?
Whose stuff is this on the floor?
Get your softball cleats off the kitchen table!

As a mom trying to maintain a sense of order and a decent amount of cleanliness around my house, I can get pretty frustrated and down right angry over the stuff that my children leave all over the house: shoes under the coffee table, jackets on the kitchen table, notebooks on the island.

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With four children, the amount of stuff left behind can feel overwhelming and it can turn me into a screaming mimi to get it decluttered especially when my kids know better.

I don’t want to be like this. I want to be a calm parent that loves my children even when they are a mess.

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I want to teach them to pick up after themselves in a sane and productive way. And I want to guide them into a better way to live in community with others.

And then one day it came to me…the Dollar Buy Back concept…

 

-To keep reading go to: http://www.1corinthians13parenting.com/answer-kid-clutter/#sthash.7ADeifQu.dpuf

 

Do You Want Good or Great?

Posted on 02/08/16 by DaleWilsher No Comments
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41EV9hbgbCL._SX327_BO1,204,203,200_I just finished reading the NY Times bestseller, Good to Great, by Jim Collins. While written as a business book, I found that it contained helpful information for parents that want to build and enjoy not just good, but GREAT families.

The main obstacle to GREATness, according to the author, is being satisfied with goodness. If we settle for good, he says, we will never get great. So where might parents settle for good?

We can settle for good when we become content with minimal conflict, superficial conversations, and behavior that doesn’t tarnish the family name. We can settle for good when there are no major problems and life feels fairly stable. We can settle for good when the kids get good grades, act compliant, and are generally pleasant to be around.

So why rock the boat when family life is good?

 Click here to read more…
http://www.1corinthians13parenting.com/dont-settle-good-can-great-family/
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Real is a Mess

Posted on 01/26/16 by DaleWilsher No Comments
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UnknownOne of my favorite children’s stories is The Velveteen Rabbit, a story about a stuffed toy rabbit and his desire to become real through the love of his owner.  This simple story contains one of the greatest truths about authenticity that I have ever read:

REAL isn’t easy.

 

In the nursery the more expensive, mechanical toys snubbed the Rabbit.  They pretended they were REAL.  

The Rabbit had no idea what REAL meant, so he asked the old wise Skin Horse, “What is REAL?”

“REAL isn’t how you are made,” the Skin Horse replied.  “It happens when a child really loves you.”  

“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.

“Sometimes” said the Horse.  “And it takes a long time.”  

Generally by the time you are REAL, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out, and you get loose in the joints and very shabby.  But these things don’t matter at all because once you are REAL you can’t be ugly except to people who don’t understand.”

 

REAL isn’t quick, easy, or pretty to a watching world.  To be a REAL parent or a REAL person requires incredible courage and most people won’t understand.

When you allow your children to be REAL with their hard emotions (like fear, anger or sadness) without shutting them down, or when you allow them to be REAL by having their own opinions and desires that are different from yours, or when you allow them to be REAL by accepting their mistakes instead of chewing them out to save face, you will feel like a mess-like your hair has been loved off, your eyes have dropped out of your head and you are loose in the joints and very shabby.

You won’t look like you have it all together.  You won’t look too impressive as a mom.  And you are unlikely to be voted Mother of the Year by Good Housekeeping magazine because when you are going after the REAL hearts of your family, things get messy.

But REAL love is found in the mess.  REAL acceptance is found in the mess.  REAL connection is found in the mess.  REAL understanding is found in the mess. And REAL beauty is found in the mess.

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(Taken from “Creating an Emotionally Safe Home” message)

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Hey Moms, Do One Thing at a Time

Posted on 11/09/15 by DaleWilsher 1 Comment
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I have noticed that every house in my subdivision has its own family of wild rabbits. They are everywhere. Those mama bunnies have an average of five babies per litter and since they are only pregnant for a month, they can have 60 in a year. Yikes!  I am thankful that I am not a bunny. My four children are more than I can handle.

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There is a Native American saying that if you chase two rabbits, you will lose them both. So true, just ask my dog. That saying also applies to my parenting. Over the years I have worked on lots of issues with my children such as potty training, lying, stealing, biting, sharing, and basic obedience in order to guide them to be responsible and loving human beings. Some problems are fairly easy to solve, but other issues are harder, bigger and more deeply ingrained in my children. These issues have required extra focus and resources in order to help my children overcome them and when I have worked on too many, the results were underwhelming.

 

One of my biggest problems as a parent is working on too many issues at one time because they all seem to need immediate attention. Like rabbits, there is no end in sight to the number of issues my children can have. But my greatest successes as a parent have occurred when I focused my time and attention on only ONE issue. And not per child, but ONE issue, period. At first I was terrified that my house would spin out of control by letting the other issues slide, but what I discovered was that in addressing the most important issue first, the others could wait. Sometimes they even resolved themselves. Chasing only ONE rabbit provides the time, energy and good attitude necessary to really help our children. And not to worry, your other issues will be patiently waiting for you when you are ready to chase them down too.

 

 

 

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And don’t ever forget the most important ONE thing that we can do as parents: develop our relationship with God. “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But ONE thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.’” (Luke 10: 41-42) Martha had a ton of stuff to do and it was killing her because she missed the ONE thing (taking time to spend with Jesus) that makes ALL things work out just right.

 

This might be something that you want to ask God in your time together:

 

Help me to prioritize the ONE issue that needs addressing in my home this week. Provide me the wisdom and understanding to help my child be the person you created them to be. And let me remember the most important ONE thing.

 

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:33

 

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