The Hidden Part of an Authentic Life

April 24, 2019 / Dale Wilsher / 8 Authenticity Essentials /

I had a wonderful coaching client, we will call her Bethany. One of Bethany’s goals was to live more authentically in her relationships. (I just love that.)

When she would describe a particular situation with someone in her life, I would ask, What are you hoping for here? or when she would recount a difficult dynamic, I’d inquire, “What is it that you want from this person?

To each of these questions and others like them, Bethany would always reply,

“God’s will. I want God’s will.”

Now that’s a great answer for any Christian because our life is about following Christ and letting Him rule and reign, but in this case, it seemed like a smoke screen. Sometimes the right answer is a cover for a deeper problem we don’t know how to address. … Read the rest

authentic, choices, christian, core, values

The Beginning of an Authentic Life

February 15, 2019 / Dale Wilsher / 8 Authenticity Essentials /

This post begins a series of blogs, each describing one of the Eight Essentials of Authenticity.

This week I’m reading Holy Ambition by author and pastor, Chip Ingram. Today, in chapter 6, I read this, “One of the most amazing things that I have discovered in the last twenty-five years as a pastor is how few people understand how God made them.”

I couldn’t agree more Chip. That’s why I’m passionate about teaching people about their personality.

What is Personality?

While God made you and me in His image, He does not want any of us to “make ourselves (myself, in the actual verse) like the Most High.” That is how Satan is described in Isaiah 14:14. As humans we were not designed to be everything to everyone, like the Most High.… Read the rest

authentic, christian, new self, old self, personality, true self

What Does Authenticity Feel Like?

February 1, 2019 / Dale Wilsher / Authenticity & Struggle /

In a recent article in Psychology Today entitled What is really happening when we feel authentic?, the author cites research that feeling authentic is more about feeling good than actually being authentic. “When people feel authentic” he says, “it may really be an indication that they are feeling positive about what’s happening and good about themselves.”

Wow! Could that be true?

**DO I ONLY FEEL AUTHENTIC?**

Sitting here in my sweat pants and ponytail, Do I feel authentic ? Sure, I guess. I’m writing, which to honest, is hard for me. I don’t love writing, not like I love speaking, but I choose to do it because It helps me to learn, process, and subsequently share something with you that I hope has value. It keeps me connected to my community through regular blog posts and could lead to coaching and speaking opportunities which are part of my life purpose.… Read the rest

authentic, authenticity, christian, feel, true self

What is an Authentic Christian?

January 18, 2019 / Dale Wilsher / Authenticity & Struggle /

If authenticity were a high school girl, she’d be voted head girl and prom queen all in the same year. Not bad if you’re into that sort of thing.

In 2018, the word authentic was googled more than most other words. It’s super popular. According to Google Trends it has been this way for years.

The word authentic is consistently in the top percentile of searches compared to all other words that are Googled. (Granted, many of these have to do with a dining experience, for example Where can I get authentic Mexican food? ) Nevertheless, authentic is still a favorite inquiry.

WHY IS AUTHENTICITY SO POPULAR?

I believe authenticity is popular because we live in an increasingly fake world, with countless opportunities to craft the food we grow, the fabrics we wear, and the bodies we were given into artificial perfection.… Read the rest

authentic, christian, God

What’s Your Personality Category?

August 24, 2018 / Dale Wilsher / Personality Types /

Are you an introvert or an extrovert?

Are you task-focused or people-focused?

Which does God think is better?

Listen in while I explain these four personality categories and what God thinks of them.

If you want help understanding your authentic personality type, let’s talk. We can schedule a free 30 minute call to discuss your questions and your type here. If you want to take a DISC test and determine your own type, click here.

… Read the rest

authentic, christian, extrovert, introvert, personality, women

Do you like your personality?

August 11, 2018 / Dale Wilsher / Life Coaching, Personality Types /

Can you keep a secret? I like my personality.

This isn’t easy for me to admit. First, as a born and bred good girl, I learned that it’s not polite to talk about your strengths because you might appear conceited or make someone feel bad about themselves. If I was complimented, the correct response was “No, I’m not” or “You are too” for the reasons mentioned above. It was okay for me to talk about the parts of me that I didn’t like, but it wasn’t acceptable to speak of those qualities that I did. And eventually as a practicing good girl, I lost the ability to see my own strengths.

Second, as a good girl I learned that femininity meant that I should be meek, mild and accommodating although I am not naturally any of these things. … Read the rest

authentic, christian, DISC, God, personality, women

If I Were Your Personality Coach…

July 27, 2018 / Dale Wilsher / Life Coaching, Personality Types /

The first thing I like to know when I start to work with a client is their personality tendency, so I always start with a DISC test. The DISC report gives me an indication of who my client is but also how I can help.

So, what’s a DISC?

A DISC assessment is a test to determine your behavioral style. First conceptualized by psychologist William Marston (also the creator of Wonder Woman—so we love him even more) in the 1920s and later validated by a variety of training organizations, the DISC is the most widely used personality tool in corporate America with over 40 million employees tested.

The DISC reveals your behavioral style in 4 areas: Dominance (D), Influence (I), Steadiness (S), and Compliance (C).

Ds are your get ‘er done people who move fast and with authority.… Read the rest

authentic, christian, DISC, life coach, personality type, test

If I were your life coach…Part 1

July 13, 2018 / Dale Wilsher / Life Coaching /

If I were your life coach, first of all, I’d be honored that you would allow me into your life. I consider it a high privilege to be trusted with both the difficulties and the desires of a woman’s heart.

I’d also be protective of what you share with me. (As an ICF-certified coach, confidentiality is a primary concern.)

And I’d be excited to get started. I’d want you to understand who you are and what you’ve been created to do (and not do), so you can live your life to the full as quickly as possible.

The first thing we’d do is get on the phone for a thirty minute inquiry session to talk about your life and see if my coaching is a good fit for you.

I’d ask you a few questions:

What’s going on in your life right now?… Read the rest

change, christian, life coach, miracle question, women

Is Self-Love Self-Centered?

June 29, 2018 / Dale Wilsher / Life Coaching /

As Christian women I believe we have a problem.

We are afraid.

We worry more about being self-centered than we do about being God-centered. We spend more time distancing ourselves from the appearance of selfishness leaving us less time for true selflessness. We’re so concerned that we not self-indulge, that we restrict ourselves to the point of resentment, and then don’t know where to turn.

And then there’s our self-image. Are we to hate ourselves or love ourselves? Are we miserable sinners or glorious saints? Can we be proud of ourselves or should we be oblivious or even dismissive to who we are or what we need?

I know that there are those who struggle with narcissism and arrogance, who demand attention and a focus on themselves, but as a coach to Christian women, more often than not, I talk to wonderful people who’ve lost their confidence.… Read the rest

christian, God, identity, self centered, self love, selfish, women

Who is the Authentic You?

June 22, 2018 / Dale Wilsher / Authenticity & Struggle /

Authenticity is a hot topic these days.

Why?

Because it’s hard to find.

Authenticity is often buried under Instagram filters, push-up bras, and plastic smiles. It’s lost in unexpressed feelings and unspoken thoughts. It’s obscured by our good girl efforts to be nice and polite. It’s distorted by the pressure every woman feels to have it all together.

And yet most of us would say that we long for more authenticity in our lives. In my survey of moms with young kids, 94% said they wanted to be more authentic. That’s a lot. These women long to be free to share what is true about themselves without pretense, performance or perfection.

This is the humility of authenticity. It’s a vulnerable acknowledgement of what is real in your life right now. It’s what I call your little “t” truth. … Read the rest

authenticity, christian, God, humility, Jesus, mom, nobility, unique

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